What your bridesmaids may really be thinking
Congrats! You’re getting married!! Such an exciting time for you and your partner and everyone around you, right? Think again. A wedding can also be stressful for everyone and if you have a huge wedding party, and all your besties are bridesmaids, prepare for some clashes. Here are some major bridesmaids worries which you may need to consider.
Your bridesmaid may be worried about your upcoming wedding but more importantly your decision to marry your partner. Perhaps she isn’t too fond of your partner and the idea of you making a life long commitment to someone she doesn’t trust will reflect with concern in her behaviour.
Solution: If there is a good reason behind her concern, then talk it out. If you feel she is being unreasonable and isn’t being very supportive then maybe she isn’t the right person for the job. After all it is your big day and you would naturally expect people to be happy for you.
A bridesmaid traditionally pays for her dress, throws a hen party or bridal shower, purchases gifts for the bride. All this can add up and be quite costly for the bridesmaid.
Solution: If you are under the impression she may be uncomfortable then talk it out and perhaps offer to help pay towards any costs. Do choose your bridesmaids with plenty of time ahead of the wedding planning.
As a bride you may have already chosen your bridesmaids’ dresses but, as we know, women come in all shapes and sizes so your chosen dress may not suit every bridesmaid.
Solution: Before ordering a dress ask the opinions of your bridesmaids especially if they are meant to be paying for it. A more trendy option is to have the bridesmaids wear the same colour but different dresses unique to each shape and personality.
Organising a wedding will be very time consuming but so will organising a hen night (or 2 or 3!)
Solution: Check with your bridesmaid if she has any time after family or work commitments. When asking her to be your bridesmaid be clear on what duties you may be delegating to her and ask her privately if she will be ok with it all. If you don’t feel confident in her answer then ask her directly. She will most likely reassure you that she is definitely up for the role of bridesmaid.
Are you being a – yes, the dreaded word – bridezilla? Have you been expecting too much, or too little? Do you have family or other friends clashing with the bridesmaid?
Solution: If you have delegated a task to your bridesmaid then leave it to her. Just let her know if there are any issues at all to let you know. It would not be fair on your bridesmaid to have to deal with the family politics and it certainly would not be right to make her re-organise plans for no good reason.
A wedding is a bitter sweet occasion; a milestone in our lives and although we would expect our families and friends to be happy for us, they may also be having a crisis which they don’t want to burden you with. Seeing the happy couple celebrating their beautiful wedding day can bring out the most depressing feelings for someone who has recently been through a bad break-up.
Solution: If you know this individual well enough you’ll know whether they need you to talk to, or the opposite and maybe they want some space from all the wedding titbits. Check in with them regularly and ask how they are doing. Thank them for being a part of your special day and remind them how much they mean to you. Perhaps a non wedding related outing will do them good and would be a good break for you from the wedding planning.
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